Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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