I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
