Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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