I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
