I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
