There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
