Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
