I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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