it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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