Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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