After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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