Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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