Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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