So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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