Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
