Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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