in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
