what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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