Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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