How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
