got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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