i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.