Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.