Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void