if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia