i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.