all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
