she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
