why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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