do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
