some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
