I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
