I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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