I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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