The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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