How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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