Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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