It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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