it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
