We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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