You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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