and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
