giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
In America we eat man semen.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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