There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
