You're so nebulous sometimes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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