My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My vagina is officially offended.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
