i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
