taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
