So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
