I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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