Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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