i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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