The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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