On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
