Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
