i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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