I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
