It's Friday. Sex?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
two words...techno handjob
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
