The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he just fucked me for my cheese.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
