It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
