Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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