I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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