if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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