Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
two words: eviction party
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
