I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
