So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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