Pappa wants mamma naked
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
