is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
